Will this blog just become an online repository for Private Eye snippets? That’s the best we can hope for.
From Issue 1372:
1,867 Deaths in current Israeli-Palestinian war in which Qatar, which funds Hamas, has urged the international community ‘to assume its moral and humanitarian responsibilities’
1,200 Estimated deaths of foreign construction workers for 2022 World Cup which Qatar bribed its way to win in order to improve its image abroad
You might have heard of Mark Zuckerberg. He founded a website called Facebook (originally Thefacebook, originallyer Facemash).
Before that, Zuckerberg developed an MP3 player, Synapse Media Player (website defunct). Some people didn’t like it, going so far as to claim it ripped off the venerable Winamp. However, Zuckerberg claimed he and his co-developer were offered almost a million US dollars for it. Maybe. But then he also claimed he might make release the player’s source code, and ten years later he still hasn’t, so maybe we shouldn’t necessarily believe everything he says.
The big deal about the player was that it was supposed to automatically pick the next song you would want to listen to. And why did Zuckerberg think you would want to do that? According to the original website (now defunct, remember?):
At some point in every man’s life, he’s bound to find himself in bed with a Chinese girl. It may happen suddenly, and you may not remember how it happened, but it will happen — I guarantee that. When the time comes he needs to be ready. He needs his full arsenal at hand. And by this I mean music. Too many times has the playlist run short on soft acoustic guitar songs, quieting the room to an awkward silence and giving the Chinese girl a chance to reconsider what she’s about to do. I’ve seen it happen, and it’s not pretty.
As a matter of fact, it’s happened to me. And so we have spent the better part of the last six months of our lives making sure it doesn’t happen to you. Because if it ever does, you won’t be able to say “Why the hell doesn’t my MP3 player just know what songs I want it to play?”
We’ve got you covered. Use the Brain.
Thanks, but no thanks. And to try to cover this up, a copy of his website has been excluded from the Internet Archive.
A class act all round. Perhaps eventually a Chinese girl married him for a reason other than his personality?