The Ainu of Japan believe that the world is supported by a Giant Trout and that sin is caused by otters.

It started with a twit, as it can tend to these days. This twitticism was from the QI Elves, the small people behind Quite Interesting, which is most prominently a television show on the BBC. It went as follows:

The Ainu of Japan believe that the world is supported by a Giant Trout and that sin is caused by otters.

That sentence contains a remarkable otter fact which I didn’t recall having come across before! Certainly none of my otter colleagues had mentioned it to me, unless I misinterpreted their high-pitched squealing for hunger. So, was it a true fact?

I hereby maintain that it is, after some hardy lutran sniffing. At the least, I have traced the fact to someone who wrote a book about the Ainu after living amongst them.

The Ainu are a group indigenous to the northern parts of Japan, though these days they have almost completely assimilated into the general population for various reasons, including discrimination and lack of official recognition until relatively recently. Alas and alack.

In 1901 a book was published by the Religious Tract Society of London entitled “The Ainu and their folk-lore”, written by a missionary called John Batchelor. Some crazedly-written details of his life can be had here. I found a scanned copy of his tome at the mighty archive.org which weighs in at a similarly mighty 33MB in PDF form. [These sort of sentences are always amusing a few years after being written, because of advances in technology. Go ahead, laugh at me, Generation A! Or Generation 笑, whatever we get to]. The American broadcaster PBS quotes the relevant section (though no kudos to them for quoting the last word of the title of the book as “Folklore” rather than “folk-lore”, as that made it harder for me to find references to it elsewhere):

“When God was in the act of making the first man and had nearly finished His task, it happened to be necessary for Him to unexpectedly return to heaven on important business. Before setting out for the return journey, He called an otter, which happened to be near at the time, and told him that He was going away, but would quickly send another deity to finish the work He Himself had already begun, and he (the otter) was to deliver a message to him, explaining what to do.

“Now, although this animal said he would deliver the message without fail, he grew careless and did nothing but amuse himself by swimming up and down the rivers, catching and eating fish; he fixed his whole attention on this, and thought of nothing else. So intent was he on his fishing that he entirely forgot the message God gave him to deliver; yea, the otter forgot all about it. This is the reason why the first man was made so imperfect, and why all human beings are not quite in the fashion God originally intended. As a punishment for this deliquency and astonishing forgetfulness, God punished the otter with a bad memory; yea, he took his memory completely away. This is why no otter can now remember anything”….

“The otter’s head must not lightly be used as an article of food, for unless people are very careful they will, if they eat it, become as forgetful as that creature. And hence it happens that when an otter has been killed the people do not usually eat the head.

“But if they are seized with a very strong desire for a feast of otter’s head, they may partake thereof, providing proper precautions are taken. When eating it the people must take their swords, knives, axes, bows and arrows, tobacco boxes and pipes, trays, cups, garden tools, and everything they possess, tie them up in bundles with carrying slings, and sit with them attached to their heads while in the act of eating … If this method be carefully adhered to, there will be no danger of forgetting where a thing has been placed, otherwise loss of memory will be the result.”

So otters are more the cause of original sin, in a way, than sin per se. But it is still a fascinatingly weird theology to have.

I miss the animists, I really do.

(The trout fact was also given by Batchelor. It’s worth checking out all the quotes on the dedicated PBS website from his book.)

A similar story is recorded by Basil Hall Chamberlain in “Aino Folk-Tales”, published by the Folk-lore Society in 1888:

At the beginning of the world it had been the Creator’s intention to place both men’s and women’s genitals on their foreheads so that they might be able to procreate children easily. But the otter made a mistake in conveying the message to that effect; and that is how the genitals come to be in the inconvenient place they are now in. —(Written down from memory. Told by Ishanashte, 11th July, 1886.)

Lovely.

Collection Folio No. 1 — what is the first Folio book?

This one really had me stumped, and I’m surprised at how hard it was to solve.

One of France’s largest publishers, Gallimard, releases many books under the “Folio” imprint. For me, these books are the quintessence of French book publishing. They invariably have a white background, a simple cover, and a very serious, classic text inside. They look like this.

On the spine there is a number, which I suppose represents how many books have previously been published under the Folio imprint, but I couldn’t confirm this. They are up to four digits now… They are truly ubiquitous in any French bookshop.

An obvious question arises if one is as easily distracted by pointless questions as I am: which book has the number 1 on its spine? Purely by chance (helped no doubt by its fame), I found that Albert Camus’ “L’étranger” is number 2. It couldn’t be much harder to find its predecessor, surely? A quick google search or three should suffice…

But of course it wasn’t sufficient, otherwise I wouldn’t have written about it. [Oh, selection and publication bias, how I adore thee!] Incredibly, I could not find a simple list of all the Folio books every published along with their associated number. Yes, of course the Folio collection has its own site. But it didn’t burp up the simple list I required.

Anywho, after much speculative clicking, I managed to order all Folio books in order of publication date. And thus it was that I found that the “first ever” Folio book — albeit published on the same day as “L’étranger”, on the 7th of January 1972 — is…

André Malraux’s

“La condition humaine”

Never heard of it either, but it looks serious and classic.

Now I can sleep safely.

The case that led to the historic Gurkha vote yesterday in Parliament, along with other neglected details of the affair

I am extremely pleased that Parliament has found some of its long-missing dignity and voted — with still too small a margin — in favour of the motion to get rid of the idiotic rules that prevent Gurkhas who were discharged before the arbitrary date of the first of July 1997 from applying to settle here, and more generally to re-acclaim the obvious principle that those who fight for this country should be allowed to live in this country if they so wish. (A video and transcript of the debate can be found at theyworkforyou.com [watch out for the poignant comment left on the site by an ex-Gurkha]; the roll call of votes is available at publicwhip.org.uk. I note that my MP, James Plaskitt of the Warwick and Leamington Constituency, voted with the Government. Does he not wonder why every single member of the opposition parties, and many Labour MPs, voted differently?).

The news coverage of the event was welcome but flawed in two important ways. Firstly, it did not clearly explain the context of the vote and why it was happening; secondly, the reporters quickly became engrossed in what the defeat of the Government means for Gordon Brown’s political career and if the vote is “embarrassing” for him. This is a real shame, as otherwise the layperson who only just tuned in to the story (like me) would not understand what exactly was being achieved, or indeed just how disgraceful the Government’s actions were.

I am still reading about the background to the case using whatever primary materials are available online. I know now, for example, that the reason for the debate was that the Government had promulgated new rules for dealing with Gurkhas’ settlement claims that were somehow abysmal. But why had the Government gone to the trouble in the first place? I’m not sure of the reason for the timing, but the trigger seems to be a High Court ruling [given, if you want to be precise, in the Administrative Court of the England and Wales High Court] in September 2008. It took me a long time to find the actual judgment, because news articles of the court case neglected to link to it and because those news articles are what dominate search engine listings related to the case, but now, for the record, here it is:

Limbu & Ors, R (on the application of) v Secretary of State for the Home Department & Ors [2008] EWHC 2261 (Admin) (30 September 2008), http://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWHC/Admin/2008/2261.html

It is well worth a read to understand just why the Gurkhas are so deserving of our support in this case and in general, and to seriously bring into question how anyone can support this current Government, which is shown in a court of law to be entirely without scruples or honour.

If I have time I would like to write more about the Gurkhas. But I can’t promise anything, sadly…

Not really too good to be true, as it’s true and not that good

I received a letter yesterday from some obscure organisation called Reader’s Digest. It began as follows:

Dear Mr Freeman [I don't think they know my first name, but I won't hold that against them],

Please take a deep breath before you read this letter, Mr Freeman, because great news like this doesn’t come along every day.

The reason I am writing to you is because you could soon be confirmed as the sole winner of our £5,000 Immediate Payout Draw. Further, this prize will be awarded shortly. Therefore, the action you prepare to take now could easily translate into a big cash windfall for the Freeman household [sic all over].

Many large cash prize winners have told us that suddenly coming into so much money often brings with it a few days, sometimes weeks, of utter exhilaration. In fact, this could end up being among the most exciting and memorable moments of your life.

That’s why we’ve enclosed a Frequently Asked Questions report [on which more shortly]. It includes some helpful hints [for what? Is there some sort of game involved?] and observations, and could certainly start you thinking about some of the things you’ll be asked should we confirm you as our very lucky cash prize winner.

**For instance: We stand ready to present our winner, upon confirmation, with a cashable cheque for the total sum of £5,000. Given that you may in fact become our qualified winner, and you would have had some time to think about winning, we could offer you the chance to claim the prize as an immediate wire transfer of funds to the financial institution of your choice near your home.

Mr Freeman, please take a few minutes to think about what it would feel like to be the confirmed winner of our £5,000 Immediate Payout Draw. Important documents will arrive at [my address, give or take] in a large orange envelope bearing a green 028 Tracking Ref label. It contains everything you need to guarantee your chance to take delivery of the prize cheque. [Yes, this emphasis is all theirs].

I can’t be bothered to write the rest as it carries on much in that vein, but losing the humour somewhat. They’d run out of their best jokes by the time I stopped quoting there.

Now I did have some questions relating to this prize draw, such as: Why were they making such a big deal out of it? Why do they write like a bad spoof of a 1950s hard-boiled detective story? Is there a possibility that they’re trying to persuade me that I’ve already won a prize despite this patently not being the case? Do they really think anyone is going to fall for it? And lastly, not too sound spoilt, but is £5,000 really enough to cause “weeks of exhilaration”?

I, Mr Freeman, after taking a few minutes of utter exhilaration to think about it, made the decision to read the enclosed Frequently Asked Questions booklet, because surely I couldn’t be the only one who was confused by this letter.

The top of the booklet was sliced inexpertly, deleting the tops of the letters of some of the questions. Intrigued and impressed by this stylistic touch, I started reading. The first few questions were to do with procedure if I was “confirmed” as the winner. Then came the truly wonderful queries which I’m surprised are Frequently Asked, if they are indeed:

Will I be contacted by the media?

If you win, it’s possible that you may be contacted by your local newspaper. [Oooooh! Golly and gosh!]

What kind of questions would I be asked?

Questions are usually anecdotal, such as ‘did you always believe in your chance to win?’, or ‘what were the reactions of family and friends upon learning of your good fortune?’.

Are there any other helpful hints and tips a winner might want to know about?

Some winners feel it’s a good idea to share the news with close family first in order to decide what to do with the prize! For instance, would you want to splurge on some luxury items, or put the money into a secure savings plan?

Other winners said that the money didn’t really change them as people. It just made life a lot easier!

This isn’t really a scam of the first order. It’s just a way to find the gullible, the semi-educated, the lonely and the elderly in our society and target them with crap which they will be powerless to stop. As amusing as I found this letter initially — and I did have a good chuckle again while typing it up just now — I can’t really understand how the people behind it can live with themselves for knowingly writing such tosh and thus being fully aware that only the most vulnerable of people will respond to it. Shame on them.

How the British make laws

This has to be read to be believed. It is a description by Frances Gertrue Clair “Baroness” D’Souza, CMG, a member of the House of Lords, of an attempt by a Liberal Democrat peer to restrict membership of that club only to people who are registered to pay tax in the UK. A reasonable aim, you might think, and certainly one that should be
discussed seriously.

Or, if you have no respect for ethics or even a desire to look like you’re concerned with ethics, you could take advantage of the Government’s power to schedule time to discuss Bills — which in this case was about two hours — and just talk a lot about nothing particularly relevant until time has run out.

This is actually a real tactic, and is called a “filibuster”. Read the whole debate, if you dare, if you can understand it, and sigh with despair or boredom or frustration. This is how laws are made around here.

Film review, of a sort

love is funny
life is funny
“vicky cristina barcelona” is very very funny: Woody Allen at his adolescent best

[Why did it take so long to be released in the UK legally? According to the Internet Movie Database, it was released in the US in August 2008, but here only in February 2009. There are no translation issues, so what's going on?]

Emacs has it

You can blog from emacs too, as I just did with this post — if you’re crazy enough to use emacs, which I am.

(Adding categories requires the inefficient and far too common method of using a Web browser for now, but given time and misplaced effort I’ll find a way around this too).

How many countries can a citizen visit without a visa? [Bonus Economist Graph Edition]

I have considering the titular question for some time, and today The Economist did its job of answering it for me by relaying the findings of Henley and Partners, who apparently “are the world’s leading specialists in international residence and citizenship planning”, as well as being tax avoidance advisers, by their own reckoning. I’m proud to advertise their services.

A graph showing some of the more notable countries and interesting statistics is at The Economist’s website, while H&P’s full list is in PDF form at their site.

Some of the most interesting finds for me are:

• Afghanistan comes last, followed by Iraq. Is this because of the American invasions? They rank even lower than Somalia and North Korea.
• What causes some of the small discrepancies between the countries whose citizens have greatest freedom to travel? To take the most obvious example, what is that extra country that gave Denmark the sole lead with 157 countries not requiring a visa from its citizens? Which countries let in Portuguese but not Brits?
• Courtesy of the cat: If one could have two passports from any on the list, which ones should be chosen in order to maximise the number of visa-less countries one could travel to? Denmark’s might not necessarily be one of them, of course. Similarly for three passports, and so on. And so what is the minimum number of passports needed in order to visit every country in the world without a visa, assuming it’s possible? Is it possible?
• Even more interesting would be to list the countries in order of how many other countries’ citizens can enter them freely. I suspect it’d look quite different from this one, maybe even to the extent that merely listing them in the opposite order to the current one would almost suffice…

A 0-1 matrix showing which countries let in which other countries’ citizens will answer most of the questions. Come on, Economist, I’m waiting…

How much does it cost to catch ultra-blond terrorists surfing the web? £42,000 a year, apparently

When a super-terrorist needs to relax after a hard day’s murder, we all know they like nothing better than searching for hair bleach products online, right? Which would explain why searching for “hydrogen peroxide” on Google (UK version) comes up with the following:

Do you want to bleach your hair too? Then help us find terrorists just like you!

Of course, the police might be unlucky and their megalomaniac target might not feel like giving themselves a radical makeover. (Geddit?) But for once the knackers’ knackers have thought of that, which is why they also spent our money advertising their need for intelligence (geddit!?!) for at least the following terms, as documented by the extremely valuable and hard-working spyblog:

Religious Extremist
Fascism Extremist
Fascist Extremist
Left Wing Extremist
police [still goes to the anti-terrorism hotline page]
terrorism
extremist
Right wing extremist
Muslim Extremism
Radical Extremist
Animal extremist
Left wing extremist
Islamic extremist
Green extremist
Eco extremist

Whether the culprit is then willing to own up that, yes, they are pretty dangerous individuals and should be apprehended immediately is left to someone else to deal with.

So how much does all this advertising cost? According to a Freedom of Information request that I put to the London Metropolitan Police Service, the answer is: £42,000 per year. The full answer was as follows:

The planned spend for Google search on the Counter Terrorism Campaign for FY 08/09 is £42,000. The Metropolitan Police Service does not currently run ad word search sponsored links on other search engines.

Another FOI request is underway to find out why no other search engines were used, how search terms were decided upon, how the appropriate budget was decided, and how the cost-effectiveness of the campaign was evaluated, and which stakeholders were consulted in the forming of policy on this matter. I will put up whatever I get here within at most one year of receiving it, I promise.

UPDATE: The FOI request and any responses to it (which so far is just an acknowledgement of receipt) can be viewed here at whatdotheyknow.com, another superbly helpful website for the lay activist from the chaps and chapesses at mysociety.org. The statuary two-week response time seems to have been increased to four weeks, though, so I’m not expecting any substantive response until the 27th of March at the earliest. Last time I had to remind the Met that the two week period, as it was then, was up; I received a response the same day. Could it be that maybe they don’t want to release the information unless you remind them? That seems to be what happened with this request, for example.

Graphs of the Economist: Permanent Edition

Unsurprisingly I didn’t keep up with my extremely intermittent series of Graphs of the Economist. In the meantime, though, I took the trouble to set up an RSS feed that will deliver a dose of Economist graphingdom every. Single. Day. Right to your, erm, RSS feed reader.

Get it here: http://feed43.com/economistdailychart.xml